Piratz Tavern

Piratz Tavern is closing next weekend…

We weren’t regulars. We weren’t costumed artists. We didn’t spend hours bonding with the staff or with other patrons.  In 2013, we were a seemingly normal couple who had just moved to Maryland. We saw the Bar Rescue episode and thought, “That place looks like fun! I wonder if they are still open.” And they were!

We read about the “Pleasure and Pain” Valentine’s theme and decided to play dress up. We hadn’t yet really discovered the world of Kink. We had not yet set foot in a dungeon, nor purchased a flogger. We hadn’t heard of FetLife and had just put up our joint OkCupid profile seeking an additional male partner. But the event sounded like fun, so we went shopping. And on Valentine’s Day 2013, we walked into the tavern for the first time. I was in a corset and mini-skirt with a spiked collar. My Mr. was in a vest and jeans… We purchased those clothes at Hot Topic with the help of a sales associate who talked about being a ‘switch’ as though we were familiar with the terminology at the time. It seemed that we were either too early for the party, or there was no party at all. Other than one server who had a little more leather in her costume than others, nobody was dressed for the theme. We sat at a small table in the bar and had a really good meal while people watching. By the end of the night, a Mr. Grey wannbe walked in toting a girl in a rope harness behind him. Even then, the scene made my roll my eyes.

We would go back several times thinking we might find “our people.” But only one server consistently greeted me as though he’d seen me before. Jack Bones would come over and play with my hair, flirting, then scurrying off, acting afraid of My Mr. We would speculate how much of the act was genuine, and how much he’d actually had to drink on any given night. He played the part well, even on his Facebook page where he would post events, send invites, and even briefly chat with me once or twice. Another server/bartender, Saber Thompson would smile and nod when she saw me after the night we exchanged chit chat in the ladies room. I would later run into her at the flea market of sorts where we purchased my newest corset and flogger. I’ve been following her on Tumblr, and even ran into her at the shop where she works now.

And then there’s “The Hot Pirate.” I’m sure I’ve seen his name, but I prefer THP. I’d seen him at the tavern several times, but he didn’t appear to work there. I have a type when it comes to men, and he fits it pretty well. Like a silly schoolgirl with a crush, I’d had hopes that the perceived eye contact as I’d walked past on occasion could turn into conversation and maybe more. One day My Mr. and I were at the bar, chatting with the bartender, Poppet. We mentioned having moved here from Texas to which she said, “Oh! My husband is from Texas!” And she shouted… “Husband! Come meet these people. They are from Texas, too!” Of course “Husband” was THP. I only hope the look on my face was more composed than I felt in that moment… To this day, when I’m having a bad day at work My Mr. will send me a picture of THP he found online because he knows that it invokes an involuntary smile.

Sitting at the communal table at Piratz, we met some interesting people and made some very cool memories. One night my husband and our then- boyfriend went to Piratz after a burlesque show. I was in one of my pin-up girl outfits complete with ankle breakers that required one on each arm to walk in. A group of frat boys happened to be there as well who were making remarks about me in an attempt to be flirty. My Mr. was in a less-than sober state, and got upset over their advances. Bear in mind, I had been sitting with our boyfriend all night, holding his hand. But at the tavern, these random frat boys brought out a possessive side of My Mr. that I had never seen. Can we say ironic?

On St. Patrick’s Day 2014 we met another couple for dinner and drinks at Piratz. I had on my Guinness Girl shirt and glittery green make-up complete with a matching fascinator. The male of the couple was a photographer who I had done a shoot with. This was the first time we really met his partner, and the conversation that ensued comes up whenever I talk about how much I loved being a “Domestic Goddess” without a paycheck. She would make the statement that night that a woman who stays home to raise children was not only not contributing, but was a detriment to society. My Mr. sensed my anger rising and diverted the conversation just in time for my urge to lunge across the table and stab her with my fork to subside. That night ranks pretty high on a very small list of times I truly believed I was going to end up in jail.

I am also part of Headbone Jack’s “Beautiful Women in my Hat” album. I personally don’t think it’s the most flattering photo, but it’s still one of my favorites.

I feel like a bit of a Fangirl talking about Piratz like this. We weren’t part of the scene, but were people that walked in and out and built memories of our own thanks to the staff of the tavern. And thanks to social media I’ve been able to get glimpses of the people behind the costumes and accents that were part of their daily lives and jobs. I’ve read their perspective on the Bar Rescue episodes, the feelings of losing a part of their home, family and history, and all the fun times in between. Piratz is not my story to tell, but the backdrop of some of my fondest memories. Thank you all for letting us pass through a place you called your home.