I want to help you be more successful in your social and romantic endeavors. It seems like the old ‘Mars/Venus’ issue about how we are trained to communicate based on our gendered socialization may hold some merit. Let’s try meeting here on planet Earth. I’m going to be frank and straightforward about something that we may have learned about communication that just doesn't work. Ready?
DON’T SEND DICK PICS!
Never, never, never, ever send dick pics.
A lot of people start this argument by stating that the penis is simply not visually aesthetic; that they just don’t like looking at them. That’s not my stance here. I rather enjoy the penis. As a matter of fact, if I were to choose the best kind of porn, it would be the kind with lots of dicks and little or no pussy. I love Dick.
But here’s the thing- unless I already have a relationship with you and your penis, I don’t want to see Dick. I don’t want Dick messaged, e-mailed, texted, or in any other way, introduced by screen. That goes for whatever you enjoy doing with Your Dick, his dimensions, his virility, his dependence on little blue pills to join the party, any Dick talk should not be going on before we've been face to face, kissed good night and made plans to do the things that involve Your Dick. Dick is welcome by invite ONLY. Stop letting Dick crash the party! Because if Dick shows up before he’s been invited, there will be no party. Period.
I've been trying to understand what it is in male socialization that compels them to send dick pics. The last time this happened, the guy that sent the picture was aware enough to immediately ask if he’s ruined our conversation. “YES!”
He apologized again and I asked, “Why did you go there? I’m genuinely interested in why that just happened.”
He went on, still apologizing and saying that it maybe it had to do with the male ego; that he learned to do that on some dating site. He brought up the locker room issue of wanting to be “bigger, better than the other person.” But he later said, “If we all looked like the guys in porn we would still want to be bigger, better.”
It’s like a form of body dysmorphia that people simply don’t talk about. And we need to talk about it! Not only is it damaging to the men that constantly feel inferior, but the typical responses like sending dick pics only fuel the sense of objectification that women are constantly faced with. We need to demystify sex in a way that removes all the puritanical shame and allows pleasure for both parties.
The idea of male “performance” needs to be abolished. Sex should not be a performance, an act, or mimicry of pornography! Sex should be a mutually enjoyed experience where both partners actively participate in activities that have been clearly discussed as pleasurable.
It’s a long conversation that may start with a screen to screen introduction. But in the early parts of that conversation, please remember that Dick needs to stay away from the camera and save the details until we've worked our way down from the big head. I promise that’s the sexiest thing a man can do!
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